Have you got any acquaintance that never stops talking? Try to empathize..

Last week while we were doing "Power of  Listening" subject, our instructor directed us a question. "Have you ever face with somebody that never stops talking?" he asked. Immediately several person came to my mind and I gave some examples that I experienced with them. Then, he gave us some best solutions that stopping their talking :) Yesterday I met with one of high-talkative friend I have perform one of my instructor solution.

I haven't seen him for a long time which means he has lot of thing and stories gathered to tell me :) And we met in a cafe, after 3-4 minutes he started to talk without stopping. But he was talking like a machine and jumps from one subject to one other without any logic. Then my instructors lesson came to my mind. He said these kind of persons have some NEED. The need of being listened and he was doing that with the talking STRATEGY. After few minutes of listening him I have stopped listening him for seconds and tried to empathy him. And he was right to talk  a lot. Because he was a very busy work life, he was living alone and he has not many friends to get together with frequently. He really need to feel like to be listening. I applied the four main elements of communication which are observation, feelings, needs and request, to connect him better and stronger. When I connect him I understand that he was really lonely and he really need to be listened. Then I did something that my instructor advise to do. He said that "when the opposite side start to talk without stopping, try to paraphrase him with his sentences. By that s/he will feel that you are listening him/her and the need will be met and s/he will be more silent :)". I did what he told me and I reverse some of his sentences to back to him as  "yes, that was not nice what your colleague has done to you", "I got it, you are not that king of person of course". And you know what? He really stop talking in a time and started to ask questions about my life and never turn to his life again. I can understand that his need of being listened has met and he forward to another needs as enjoying a company and being in a part of group.

So, that was my experience with one of my talkative friend. If you have somebody like that in your life, I highly recommend you to use that tactic because It really works :)