Finalization of Communication & Conflict Management

What I understand is, the main concept of the course was maintaining better relations and communications at the work place and how to connect better with the others. It was also about self-discovery. For example I have learned the 2 diagram of relationship where selfishness, selflessness, and self fullness exist and I learned that I’m in the selfish area and started to improve myself toward self full. I give students’ real explanations of main concepts as feelings, needs and empathy. By, that understanding other is much easier as solving a mathematic problem. I’m really glad to take this course from Giuseppe by the way. He gave me a lot. I have a final words to whom that read my blog; It is not easy to live a full and satisfying life, you have some responsibilities to yourself and to others as well.

Dreamed Socialism and the Fact about Wealth Inequality in America

A Harvard business professor in economy asked to more than 5000 American citizen that “how they thought wealth is distributed in America.

They people are faced with 2 questions which are: “what do you think the wealth distribution?” and “what is the ideal distribution for you?”

The differences between what American’s are think and the fact is tremendously different. Please take 7 minute of your time and watch that video. And please feel free to comment about the video.

NO NEED TO FEAR (authority)

In today’s world you see hierarchy in everywhere.  Running away from it is impossible, it is inevitable for now and the future also. Hierarchies in every corporation, in every firm, in every society... Even in family and also in personal relationships. But hierarchies in companies should be considered as more careful.  Because your carrier life is all about you. It does not concern your society, your family or your friends, but you and you only.

It will be inevitable for the one who get in a new job whether is a consulting company, Telecommunication Company, catering company, a restaurant or retailer shop. There will be always powerful ones who are sitting in the up. That is why controlling your own hierarchy towards a company is a very critical and significant thing. There will be an authority guys in the workplace who will lead you or vice versa. Respect should be the main element in the healthy organizations. That is how they succeed. And here come the question: Are you going to address the upper hierarchy because of respect or because they have power and you are afraid of them.

With respect, everybody in the company could communicate and connect better. Things will be completed without problem and even the winds of hierarchy will not be observed much.  Of course I mean 2-way-respect. A CEO has to treat and respect the rest of the members of the firm. We all have different responsibilities, different abilities and different level of powers. But at the hearth we are all same. So, why need to fear to the authority.

Have you got any acquaintance that never stops talking? Try to empathize..

Last week while we were doing "Power of  Listening" subject, our instructor directed us a question. "Have you ever face with somebody that never stops talking?" he asked. Immediately several person came to my mind and I gave some examples that I experienced with them. Then, he gave us some best solutions that stopping their talking :) Yesterday I met with one of high-talkative friend I have perform one of my instructor solution.

I haven't seen him for a long time which means he has lot of thing and stories gathered to tell me :) And we met in a cafe, after 3-4 minutes he started to talk without stopping. But he was talking like a machine and jumps from one subject to one other without any logic. Then my instructors lesson came to my mind. He said these kind of persons have some NEED. The need of being listened and he was doing that with the talking STRATEGY. After few minutes of listening him I have stopped listening him for seconds and tried to empathy him. And he was right to talk  a lot. Because he was a very busy work life, he was living alone and he has not many friends to get together with frequently. He really need to feel like to be listening. I applied the four main elements of communication which are observation, feelings, needs and request, to connect him better and stronger. When I connect him I understand that he was really lonely and he really need to be listened. Then I did something that my instructor advise to do. He said that "when the opposite side start to talk without stopping, try to paraphrase him with his sentences. By that s/he will feel that you are listening him/her and the need will be met and s/he will be more silent :)". I did what he told me and I reverse some of his sentences to back to him as  "yes, that was not nice what your colleague has done to you", "I got it, you are not that king of person of course". And you know what? He really stop talking in a time and started to ask questions about my life and never turn to his life again. I can understand that his need of being listened has met and he forward to another needs as enjoying a company and being in a part of group.

So, that was my experience with one of my talkative friend. If you have somebody like that in your life, I highly recommend you to use that tactic because It really works :)

Hard Times

Our instructor in MGMT 450 was talking about how important is to connect to someone else for individuals.  It is, really. For connecting individuals one of the most significant factor is communication with or without body language. In one of the last weeks our instructor want us to write the most difficult conversation that we made until now. I had one in last month :) As I mentioned in my last blog I have been in London where there are millions of foreign individual study and also work there. I went to my dorm for locating where it is for not have trouble when the semester starts. I liked to see one of the rooms in my room for my future room design and so. The problem was there was almost nobody in the dorm and around the dorm. I waited like 25 minute for any spontaneous student to see any of rooms. After a long wait I saw a brown-colored (first impression was Hindu) student coming out of his room. The following is the conversation: 

Me: Hello. I'm Ali Can from Turkey and I will be staying in this dorm in 2 months. 

Student: Hi, Okay (Hindu accent, I was wright :))

Me: And you are the only person that I saw in 30 minutes. I like to see one of the rooms if possible. 

Student:No! you can not see my room. That is my room.

Me: No, No! There is no need to be your room. Just any room, I want to see how is the design of the room.

Student:No! Go to your room.

Me: Ok dude, whatever.

I flight in that situation because I saw that conversation is going nowhere. All I want to see one of the rooms and it didn't happened :) I wanted to share one of my top difficult conversion with you because I'm sure that everybody has that kind of difficult situations in their life and I like to reed about yours if you like to share with me.

NEEDs vs WANTs

Each human beings have this "needs" in their life. Most important ones are basic needs which are our survival needs. These needs are not written in everywhere or they are not any instruction of these needs. They are instinctual which are the need of food, oxygen (breathing) and shelter. These instinctual needs are located everybody's DNA. Besides the biological needs each of us need to be loved, accepted, fulfillment, touched and the list goes on. But there are very big difference between needs and wants. We do not choose our need  rather than our wants. Wants is more about luxury. Let me give some example for better understanding. For example each of us need to eat but if we chose to eat at Il Padrino (my favorite Italian Res.) that will be classify as want. We do not need to eat some expensive pizza for satisfy our need but we do that. Did you ever ask why to yourselves? Because we are not only satisfying our need of food. We are also socializing, we feel that we are in some part of group (belonging), we feel power and luxury in these kind of places. In a different matter we can say that everything that we do is our need, one way or another. If you agree or disagree with me please feel free to share your commends.

METROPOLITAN LONDON

I have never been in London since last week but I've been attend some summer schools in different place of United Kingdom as Swanage and Brighton. In September 2013 I will going to study my master in International Business Msc in Roehamton University. That is why I wanted to go and see and locate my university before the season starts. While the time I was there I have noticed something that is become stereotyped. I was always hearing a say which is "3/4 of people in London are not from there actually." and I'm sure that most of you have heard that  speech before. Let me say to my friends that never been in London, that is absolutely correct. Actually, what I observed was, 4/5 of  people in London are not from London born. Let me tell one of my experience in the tubes. While I was heading to Piccadilly Circus (Where I highly recommend you to go there if you ever visit London) and using Circle line, I saw a bunch of people together and traveling in the same direction. Those bunch of people consists of 1 American, 1 Indian, 2 Chinese students, 2 Negros, 1 Arab (probably), 1 couple who whore turbans. That the moment when I realized that "GLOBALIZATION" is not a myth. And that is not only in metros, every street, each square is full of people combined from all over the world. I have never seen that many different kind of diversity in one place and that is the reason why I am sharing it with you. If you have an examples as this please feel free to share with me. Thank You..